Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Barfly Goes On The Wagon

Extra! Extra! I, Fredo, have some big, life-changing news!

No, I am not another lay off casualty, that happened back in November and I got a new gig within a month! No, I am not a Dad yet! What I am is on the wagon. Yes, the wagon, and I could not have done it without the help of Fred™ Natural Spring Water.

I know what you are thinking. How could the winner of the 2001 TWT “Don’t Bruise the Ice” Award, and the 2002 -2004 TWT Barfly of Year Awards even contemplate a world without the sweet, sweet booze? What possibly could have happened to make me change my ways? Well, after my Chancellor cocktail at Clover Club last night, I had an epiphany.

One, I was going home after only one drink; and two, I realized that I have consumed an incredible variety of cocktails, spirits, booze, eau de vie in my day. How many new versions of the Manhattan do I actually need to drink? I think I have had enough, I mean here is the short list of cocktails I have had in just the past month of March:

Poli Sarpa Grappa
Old Fashioned
Benton (Bacon) Old Fashion
Improved Whiskey Cocktail
Partida Margherita
Vieux Carre
Classic Manhattan
Perfect Manhattan
Bourbon Manhattan
Ramos Gin Fizz
Maker’s Mark on the Rocks
Jameson’s neat, Irish coffee with Powers
Ackerman’s Farewell
Champagne Cocktail
Widow’s Kiss
The Paper Plane
Pisco Sour
Masala Daiquiri
The Blue Collar
Chancellor, and
The Last Word

See what I mean? That was March…and the ones I remember! It is about time I switched to aqua. Moreover, Fred™ Natural Spring Water comes in a flask-like plastic bottle, so it is a perfect fit for a barfly like me…I mean ex-barfly!

Therefore, the new cocktail of choice in the Loungerati Executive Lounge:


6 oz Fred™ Natural Spring Water
4 ice cubes

Combine in tumbler and drink away. I have been known to drink 6 to 8 glasses of these a day. However, be warned - do not drink too much, you could get water intoxication!

If you are on the wagon like me, Fred™ is the way to go. Enjoy!


  1. The date of this particular posting is its most salient feature, I should think...

  2. ack. oh Topspun... until I just read your comment here, I was looking for that new spelling of the word "gullible" in the dictionary.

    er, I'm serious. I fell for it.

    U rok Fredo.